I am just happy a bunch of us are starting a back to basics movement

Black poo lasted for the first 2-3 days, then it becomes green/brown and seedy and then a mustard yellow.

I will share some stuff that I wish I knew.

For starters every parent, nurse, doctor, cat, and dog will have an opinion as to what you should do, how you should do it, when you should do it, etc.

CN: Ignore everyone (including this very post – it’s just my opinion), listen to you/your wife and use common sense. The amount of shit and contradiction that you will hear is just fucking crazy, to the point where you don’t really give a shit what people tell you anymore. Assuming you know the basics from the parental classes I won’t go over that, but I will go over things nobody told me about that were frustrating.

I can’t stress this enough, but your wife is your #1 priority, kid is secondary.

Delivery:

When you get admitted since it’s your first kid you will probably go through a few shifts worth of delivery nurses. Ours were fantastic except the actual nurse that was there during the delivery, to the point where I had fantasies about smashing her head against a door frame.

When your wife starts having contractions the nurse and you will be holding up her legs and motivating her to push. Here is where a good nurse vs. a shitty one will make or brake the delivery. Since I had no idea what to expect I just stood and watched what she did, but after watching the monitor for her contractions common sense kicked in and I realized the nurse was a lazy cunt hence why the contractions weren’t showing signs of progress. When my wife would have contractions at times the nurse wouldn’t even be in the room, even though my wife was fully dilated, wtf. So I took over at that point and held my wife on my own and did the pushing with her. The contraction monitor showed WAY higher contraction results once it was just her and I without the nurse. I wasn’t fucking around, but hours of bullshit attempts with a lazy nurse and my wife was drained so then you end up with an emergency c section (NOT THE END OF THE WORLD). CN: your job when she is pushing is like being a spotter for your buddy during bench. You can have a shitty spotter (this nurse) or you can have me spot you and i will get 2-3 more reps out of you for a real workout. This is how it works.

Post Delivery:
After delivery you will go into a recovery room where you will be left for a few hours and nobody will tell you what’s happening, asking them will be like pulling teeth (notice a pattern here, this is because of our shit delivery nurse). This is when you do skin to skin, don’t be waiting on the nurse to show you or in fact don’t even bother asking anyone anything. Once you are there, undress yourself and do skin to skin asap, you don’t need to ask how, or when, or ask for permission. Just fucking do it especially if your wife isn’t capable (watch youtube now)

Once you are in postnatal care for 24-48 hours provided you have no complications things will settle down. Nurses in this area were absolutely phenomenal and will be your life line. You learn how to breast feed, bathe, do’s/don’ts. A lot of repeats from the parenting class stuff, but this time with an actual kid and hands on learning.

Breastfeeding:
This was the most challenging part. Breastfeeding among women is like the dick size measuring for men, kinda.
What it comes down to is you are not a real woman if you don’t breastfeed, you are lazy, etc. There is definitely a stigma associated with it. It didn’t help that the prenatal class nurse made it seem like you are a complete vulture if you don’t breastfeed.
Our intention was always to breastfeed because it’s the natural way to go about it and for me because it’s cheaper than formula lol. The reality is that breastfeeding is hard at first, in our case my wife tried for hours and you can only imagine that when it doesn’t work the emotional stress she has to deal with by feeling less of a mother because society, etc…it’s real. We had to supplement with formula so she doesn’t lose weight. After we got control of the situation and she started latching we are now slowly phasing our the formula and moving to breastfeeding only. If it doesn’t happen right away it’s ok, if it doesn’t happen at all, it’s also ok, if the kid is formula fed, IT’S OK!!!! Fuck, they have a lifetime ahead of them to eat shit and become fat unhealthy fucks, formula or breastmilk is the least of your worries over the lifetime of kid, but because idiot new parents like to overcomplicate shit let’s then have these arguments when they are completely irrelevant.
/rant.

For breastfeeding because it’s super important for the woman from an emotional point of view, please do yourself a favour and splurge on a proper breastfeeding pillow. These can be bought directly at the hospital for around $70. It’s an absolute must and probably the single most important purchase for us to date, forget uppababy vista and other bullshit, none of that shit matters as much as this breastfeeding pillow if breastfeeding is your goal.

Lastly, bring a notebook and pen to the hospital and document times of breastfeeding, colours of shit, piss, etc. That’s the only metric to measure a kid’s health now, their piss/shit and eating pattern. There are phone apps as well, fuck that you won’t have time to fiddle around with that garbage. Old school pen and paper are your best bets.

Once I had some downtime I put together a spreadsheet and logged all the info so I have daily summaries of total formula consumed, total time spent on each breast to breastfeed, all diaper changes wet vs. dirty, etc. This is all summarized in a daily log that you spoon feed to your doctor so they are not rummaging through pages of notes, but you are actually making them work for their money. Humans are lazy, make it super easy so you get the most out of them.

Once you are home, try to stagger your help, you don’t want two grandmothers at the same time, you need their help, but selfishly stagger when they come. You will need that downtime for yourself. I'd also recommend not taking visitors in the hospital or even at home for a little while. Your hands will be tied, it's just a waste of everyone's time imo (just immediate family, that's it).

Again, taking care of your wife is number 1 priority. The kid is secondary, they just need food and their shit cleaned, your wife will be recovering from a crazy experience so that’s where I’d suggest focusing your attention.

With all that said, enjoy it, it really isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. Once you settle in the comfort of your own home and develop a system and stagger the help from family, shit becomes autopilot. I am sure it will get more challenging in the future, but in the end BILLIONS of people have gone through it, so it really isn’t that bad.

I am sure everyone has different opinions and thoughts, that’s just my take on it so far.

I am just happy a bunch of us are starting a back to basics movement

Basics? The only thing "basic" about you guys is the manual transmission.

An S4 is hardly "basic". You really want to go "basic", get a FRS or BRZ with a manual. That's as basic as you can get in a mainstream car built after 2010.

When it comes to your S4 I would substitute the term "basic" for "manual labour"

Basics? The only thing "basic" about you guys is the manual transmission.

An S4 is hardly "basic". You really want to go "basic", get a FRS or BRZ with a manual. That's as basic as you can get in a mainstream car built after 2010.

When it comes to your S4 I would substitute the term "basic" for "manual labour"

Username checks out.



You guys have been trolled.

Golf RRRRRRrrrarrrrr is pretty sweet. Made in Germany goodness.

lol good times man, i mean it's good and bad right. actually from your post-care description it sounds annoying like ours at markham-stouf. they were ok (not as good/hype as we heard from ppl) and nothing special. where at NYG was great and had wayyyy more staff and were way more on top of shit. we heard the 'short staffed' line more than enough times at MSH....really? well hire more fucking ppl. the amount of kids brown/asian are popping out over there is astounding. L E L

Never has a single thread derailed in to so many different topics

MSH was great except for the anesthesiologist, he was a complete moron. He was trying to put in the needle for IV and before inserting he's like; hmmm lets see if this works. Well it didn't as he couldn't find the vein, but upon removing the needle blood is coming out like a fucking geyser. I quickly put my hand over the spraying blood and apply pressure. FUCKING IDIOT.

Anyways, the nurses were fantastic. We were at the hospital for 4 days so yeah I got to see a lot of staff lol. We stayed in the same room that my wife gave birth in, which was nice since we had privacy and lots of room.

that guy has forgotten more about medicine than youll ever know if your lifetime. Dude has mastered the art of work and hes an idiot? Meanwhile youre the goofs sitting next to a miserable woman pushing out a child(anchor/financial disaster etc).

that guy has forgotten more about medicine than youll ever know if your lifetime. Dude has mastered the art of work and hes an idiot? Meanwhile youre the goofs sitting next to a miserable woman pushing out a child(anchor/financial disaster etc).

I guess that applies for you're parents too then huh?

What did he look like? Both anesthesiologists that we saw were weird as fuck.

Sounds like the same one we had during our delivery, dude was sprawled out on a chair in the OR basically passed out as my wife was having her C section. I thought he was a janitor at first.